The Coming End Of Our Term

I've got another two weeks until the end of this semester.Now i'm looking for a job to support myself throughout the holidays.Just a while ago before posting this blog Cikgu Aziz introduced me to Mr Liew who is the latest tuition competitor in town.The meeting went on smoothly and it seems he would offer me a job hanging banners and distributing pamphlets around Klang.I don't really care what kind of job i'm going to get provided i get paid and it's worth my time.

I just can't be expecting to be living on my monthly allowances every month.At least i should stock up some money for the coming rainy days.Life is really tough down here.Food,fuel and fag prices is at all time high.It's really making a hole in my pocket.Sometimes i'm just very jealous of my friends whom their parents are very supportive in every matter.Money is always not a problem for them but for me it always is.

Thus the coming holiday is not going to be a holiday for me.Got three biology projects coming up,tuitions are on throughout the duration of the holidays,got to study a little since i screwed my exams up,i also intend on getting my probationary license and if i got a got a job it's going to be damn busy for me.The point is it is going to be a real hectic holiday but at least it's better than going to school.I love my life outside school!

To all life is not easy now so brace yourself for the worst.Cheers!

What A Week

I would say that in my life last week was the most lousiest week ever to hit me in the face.My world really came crashing down.A lot of things got me from all directions until i just feel like going nuts.Nobody noticed anything.I've just been keeping everything inside and i didn't tell anything out other than my closet companions.I just had no idea what to say but to swallow everything in myself.Got to digest it on my own.

It happened to me that i have been washed away by the wave.But i said back to the ocean that i will wait for you.Patiently i will do.

Thank god anyway i went to Kuala Lumpur yesterday to take a break from everything.I met up with Abdullah and Shaun.They are both my good friends.So we idiots had fun all day and i got back from Kuala Lumpur almost close to midnight.At least it had helped eleviate my mood.I had been extremely moody lately.Even my mom had to ask me to go out and have a break.

Today pula,i gate crashed into five houses.I really ate a lot and i am damn full.Best part was that the fun day i had breed a hell of a headache.So at the moment i am nursing it.The things i got into lately really makes me want to ram my head on the wall.Goodness Christ!!This is the truth:Crap happens so live with it!

Oh yes to all my Hindu friends.Happy Deepavali to all you guys and your family.Have a nice day everyone.

What I Have Seen

I have seen many type of people as i grew older.It seems that whenever you see something new.Your mind seem to open up a little to the world.Like a child who has never seen what canned beans are but after he had opened it he finally knows what he is looking for.I mixed with many types of people.I have been around mat rempits,mat rockers,soldiers,nerds,nut cases like me,religious people and the list keeps going on and on year after year.

At least through this sort of exposure,it tells you what the world is all about out there.The world is not concentrated in our books.Instead it's out there waiting for us to learn it.First of all we have to be brave enough to swim into it.For those who have the habit of rejecting others and thinking that they are great,they are going to have a major heart attack when they leave school.

The world is full struggle,in the course our journey we have to mix to survive.I do not mean that you have to be a mat rempit to mix.Just get to know them at least you get to know a thing or two.If you could be a better friend to them you will pull them out that lousy lifestyle of theirs.So what if that person smokes,drinks or swears?Does it make him a bad person?Important is that he or she has some sense of loyalty and honour in him.It happened to me when my non smoking,non drinking and non swearing friend backstabs me while my smoking,drinking and happy to swear friend is the only one who bail me out during my darkest hours.

Don't judge them by what you see but instead dig deep down into them and know them for what they are.If i have not done so to you please forgive me.

Kebenganganku

Saban hariku melaluinya,
Terasa melalui ombak yang kuat
di tengah lautan,
Hendak ku langkahkan diriku ke dalam
kegelapan,
Tertanyaku pada diriku,
Apa dah terjadi?
Kekosongan di angkasa cumaku
nampakkan.

Kebenganganku seperti kemarahan
Tuan Perapi,
Terkawal hanya dengan kesabaran,
Kesabaranku terbatas ukurannya,
Entah sampai bilaku boleh mengawalnya,
Hanya menunggu saat kapal ini berlabuh
di Melaka.

Mungkinkah jawapan kepadanya dapat
dicari di Melaka,
Jika tiada ku merantau mencari akan
jawapannya,
Walaupun terpaksa berhujan batu
di negeri urang,
Berharapan pada suatu hari kebenganganku
dapat dijadikan abu,
Lalu dilupakan seperti ditiupkan ke langit,
Oleh itu ku mencari jawapan.

Final Semester

It has been two days since the exam started.It's not easy for me as i have only started to study two days before the exam started.I have really gotten myself into deep trouble.I dare not think of my results that i'll obtained.

It's also the final semester now.Life in school is coming to an end for this year.PMR is also on the timetable for the week.Goodness,it has been three years since my Form 3 days.By the end of October it would be a year since i left La Salle.Time really flies!So a simple advice to all of you,spend it well and don't waste it.Take every risk in life don't just swim at the shallow side of the sea instead go deeper even it means losing your breath.The experience is worth a lifetime.

Oh yes for your info i still didn't say anything to her yet.Yes the secret is killing me.I can't think of anything much for the moment as the exam is still on.One day I'll try to say it.

To those who are sitting for their final semester exams.Good luck and do your best.

The Coming Battle

So it begins again.As every soldier begins sharpening their blades for the coming battle.Hordes of enemy will come and we will stand our ground to the end.Or take our life in shame as demanded by the code.Supplies are heavily stocked while rations were carefully given out to everyone.Still morale does not look good as weariness sets in our minds.

The coming battle will take it's toll.Some will be the victor some will be the loser.No one knows.Only fate remains in God's hand as so He can decide.As i await the coming of it.The tune of the Amazing Grace could be heard throughout the encampment from the bagpipes of our fellow White Scars.How sweet and amazing is God's grace.

Tomorrow at dawn,my company and the other five companies will march into the battlefield.The first shot will be from my side.The coming battle has arrived so have we the Raven Guards.

Purge,Cleanse and Kill!

6-10-2008

As it began it was only a seedling,
Growth was a dilemma,
Lost in its surrounding,
Uncertain of the future was I,
It's stormy ahead.

Now a blossomed Sakura in spring,
Awaiting the coming of autumn,
If it has arrived,
Would the weather bare uncertainty?

Standing by the cliff was I where the Sakura
stands blossomed,
Awaiting the arrival of the autumn days,
Thus i await it as the Sakura petals falls
gently to Mother Earth.

This Week

First three days of this week i couldn't sleep.A lot of things were running through my mind and i just couldn't get it out.Restless was i and many people noticed it including Mrs Koh.The problem was i just couldn't say it out.I just can't admit it.Shy,nuts, or sheer stupidness, maybe fear of fearing rejected?I don't know.Choose one.

That feeling of guilt was killing me for that three days.I got nuts enough that i started to dedicate a poem to someone.I didn't show it yet!All those in school especially those close to me did see the difference.As for now i'm struggling with my life to maintain some sanity.

I've got my club work,school work,exams,class work and my crush to juggle about.I've have to admit it that this week i've almost gone nuts.Almost!

The feeling of guilt is still lingering inside me.Trap in a whirpool would be the word.Resolution would not be here for now so i will have to look for it.Another question is where and how?

Change

Just got home from my friend's home.The dude is on a one month sem-break from MSU.So he called me up to his place to have a Raya feast.Quite full am i as i have gun down almost 4 plates of nasi briyani.Looking at most of my friends that i have met up throughout the Raya celebrations it seems many have change and moved on with their lives.When i meant change, it's really different than the time when we were studying together in La Salle or in tuition.

Time really changes a man.This year itself i have gone through many events that many have said that now i act and react differently unlike my secondary years.So that was what they say.I indeed believe time changes a person.To me,feel that i have a different character now than compared to the old days.Although some part of myself may not exactly change a lot but the change is noticeble in me.

So now i'm returning to school tommorow.Routine begins again.I'm back at hell and in heaven.I'm back again seeing someone.Reactions for the next following days could not be predicted accordingly as expected for the moment.But i'll patiently await for the day to arrive.As for now,i'm back where i started.

As The Knight Awaits

As the knight awaits news the rain begin to shower from the sky and lands upon the roof of the chapel.So was the feeling i had within which sounded just like the sound of rain droplets landing on the roof.Pieces of me could be scattered into different continents like a shatered glass on the floor.Could i not think of anything other than this?

Signals through the mountains from Eriador to Annor show no promising signs.Then came a news through it that the heart may have well been taken away by another with higher grace.Like shatered glass was the feeling.Fate has deemed it so or was it fated to be challenged.Of either both i will never know.

I will ride to challenge into the west to reclaim the heart.As one i go but not return as a broken shield.The journey is winding and dark.Of i depart now i must.As the knight awaits the fateful reply from the heart.

Today

Today.Very boring day like any other holiday.Not much things to do but i'm tired to the max.Just yesterday i was gate crashing here and there.Well maybe that's why i'm tired or chating until morning.God knows!My old friends from La Salle called me out today for futsal but i had to cancel the plan last minute cause i couldn't even wake up.

Whole night i was thinking of something and i could not get the "Smile" of my mind.This could be another reason i couldn't sleep.Many had noticed something and i have to admit they are very observant.Oh ya kawan-kawan reminder sikit,hang nak tolong boleh tapi jangan bercerita banyak tau!I'm not liking if it happens.As for her she doesn't seem to know anything.All the while i'm kind worried to get rejected.Would it happen?

Anyway today i study halfway and i couldn't concentrated anymore so it seems bloging was the solution for the moment.Anu what's going to happen soon?

Raya Kedua

Kenyang betul perut aku ni.Dua rumah sudah aku gate crashing ni.Pertama rumah Si Ash kemudian Si Abdul pula.Nampak je lauk,ku terus makan tak henti-henti.Kang terasa nak meletup ba perutku.Sekurang-kurangnya hari ni ku dapat keluar lihat muka-muka member yang dah lama tak jumpa.Lepas ni entah bila boleh lagi berjumpa dengan mereka?

Lepas gate crashing kat rumah Si Ash tu ku terus ke rumah Si Abdul.Pijak je terus kat rumah dia terus aku dijemput untuk makan.Ha,lepas tu pula ayah Si Abdul pun mula berbual lama dengan aku.Ai memang lama kita orang berbual.Ayahnya tak henti-henti bagiku nasihat.Memang ba orang yang berpengalaman kan.Bagi kebanyakan orang,jika berbual dengan ayahnya mungkin terasa bosan.Tapi bagiku pula terasa macam aku diberi nasihat yang bagus.Anu,bapaku pun tak pernah bagiku nasihat.Namun,nasihatnya memang bagus bagiku ba yang sedang merana kat Form 6.

Konklusinya,Raya Kedua ini memang tak rugi.Sekurang-kurangnya dapat jumpa member,makan dan diberi nasihat.Macam mana pula dengan Raya Kedua korang?

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Telah berlalunya sudah sebulan,kini dah tiba pula bulan Syawal.Ai cepat sungguh masa berlalu ni!Esok ku akan keluar beraya dengan Si Ash kat rumahnya.Yang ikutku samaku pula Si Boey dengan Si Abdul.Tak boleh nak tunggu-tunggu la.Dah tak sabarla ku nak gate crash rumah Si Ash.Siapla dia esok!

Tadi baru aku pergi berjumpa dengan member-member kat tempat kerja lamaku tu.Tiba-tiba dia orang call samaku pergi Pastamania untuk makan.Tak sangka pula lepas ku resign masih boleh lagi contact dengan dia orang lagi.Akanku selalu kenang-kenangkan Makan Raya ni bersama dia orang.Memang bagusla orang-orangnya semua!Anu,hampir semua geng lama dah resign tinggal aja Si Josseim dengan Bang Li.Astaga,Si Ammar pula baru kena pecat.Adusla hai!

Entah ba tempat kerja lama aku tu!Management pula macam mangkuk,undercut semua orang.Patutla aku pun resign.Tapi teamwork kat sana tu memang mantap.Budak kitchen sama budak service boleh selalu backup sesama sendiri.Tak pernah kita orang terkangkang bila buat kerja.Susah nak jumpa keadaan sebegini kat tempat lain kan?

Walaubagaimanapun,ini time kita bercuti dan relak.Lebih baik lupakan hal-hal yang dah lalu ba.Bagi semua umat Islam di Malaysia ku mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya al-Mubarak,Maaf Zahir dan Batin.Bagi yang bukan Islam pula,terutamanya aku Selamat Gate Crash Member-member Muslim ko!Korang jangan buat apa-apa kecuali Beraya tau.Faham!