6-10-2008

As it began it was only a seedling,
Growth was a dilemma,
Lost in its surrounding,
Uncertain of the future was I,
It's stormy ahead.

Now a blossomed Sakura in spring,
Awaiting the coming of autumn,
If it has arrived,
Would the weather bare uncertainty?

Standing by the cliff was I where the Sakura
stands blossomed,
Awaiting the arrival of the autumn days,
Thus i await it as the Sakura petals falls
gently to Mother Earth.

This Week

First three days of this week i couldn't sleep.A lot of things were running through my mind and i just couldn't get it out.Restless was i and many people noticed it including Mrs Koh.The problem was i just couldn't say it out.I just can't admit it.Shy,nuts, or sheer stupidness, maybe fear of fearing rejected?I don't know.Choose one.

That feeling of guilt was killing me for that three days.I got nuts enough that i started to dedicate a poem to someone.I didn't show it yet!All those in school especially those close to me did see the difference.As for now i'm struggling with my life to maintain some sanity.

I've got my club work,school work,exams,class work and my crush to juggle about.I've have to admit it that this week i've almost gone nuts.Almost!

The feeling of guilt is still lingering inside me.Trap in a whirpool would be the word.Resolution would not be here for now so i will have to look for it.Another question is where and how?

Change

Just got home from my friend's home.The dude is on a one month sem-break from MSU.So he called me up to his place to have a Raya feast.Quite full am i as i have gun down almost 4 plates of nasi briyani.Looking at most of my friends that i have met up throughout the Raya celebrations it seems many have change and moved on with their lives.When i meant change, it's really different than the time when we were studying together in La Salle or in tuition.

Time really changes a man.This year itself i have gone through many events that many have said that now i act and react differently unlike my secondary years.So that was what they say.I indeed believe time changes a person.To me,feel that i have a different character now than compared to the old days.Although some part of myself may not exactly change a lot but the change is noticeble in me.

So now i'm returning to school tommorow.Routine begins again.I'm back at hell and in heaven.I'm back again seeing someone.Reactions for the next following days could not be predicted accordingly as expected for the moment.But i'll patiently await for the day to arrive.As for now,i'm back where i started.

As The Knight Awaits

As the knight awaits news the rain begin to shower from the sky and lands upon the roof of the chapel.So was the feeling i had within which sounded just like the sound of rain droplets landing on the roof.Pieces of me could be scattered into different continents like a shatered glass on the floor.Could i not think of anything other than this?

Signals through the mountains from Eriador to Annor show no promising signs.Then came a news through it that the heart may have well been taken away by another with higher grace.Like shatered glass was the feeling.Fate has deemed it so or was it fated to be challenged.Of either both i will never know.

I will ride to challenge into the west to reclaim the heart.As one i go but not return as a broken shield.The journey is winding and dark.Of i depart now i must.As the knight awaits the fateful reply from the heart.

Today

Today.Very boring day like any other holiday.Not much things to do but i'm tired to the max.Just yesterday i was gate crashing here and there.Well maybe that's why i'm tired or chating until morning.God knows!My old friends from La Salle called me out today for futsal but i had to cancel the plan last minute cause i couldn't even wake up.

Whole night i was thinking of something and i could not get the "Smile" of my mind.This could be another reason i couldn't sleep.Many had noticed something and i have to admit they are very observant.Oh ya kawan-kawan reminder sikit,hang nak tolong boleh tapi jangan bercerita banyak tau!I'm not liking if it happens.As for her she doesn't seem to know anything.All the while i'm kind worried to get rejected.Would it happen?

Anyway today i study halfway and i couldn't concentrated anymore so it seems bloging was the solution for the moment.Anu what's going to happen soon?

Raya Kedua

Kenyang betul perut aku ni.Dua rumah sudah aku gate crashing ni.Pertama rumah Si Ash kemudian Si Abdul pula.Nampak je lauk,ku terus makan tak henti-henti.Kang terasa nak meletup ba perutku.Sekurang-kurangnya hari ni ku dapat keluar lihat muka-muka member yang dah lama tak jumpa.Lepas ni entah bila boleh lagi berjumpa dengan mereka?

Lepas gate crashing kat rumah Si Ash tu ku terus ke rumah Si Abdul.Pijak je terus kat rumah dia terus aku dijemput untuk makan.Ha,lepas tu pula ayah Si Abdul pun mula berbual lama dengan aku.Ai memang lama kita orang berbual.Ayahnya tak henti-henti bagiku nasihat.Memang ba orang yang berpengalaman kan.Bagi kebanyakan orang,jika berbual dengan ayahnya mungkin terasa bosan.Tapi bagiku pula terasa macam aku diberi nasihat yang bagus.Anu,bapaku pun tak pernah bagiku nasihat.Namun,nasihatnya memang bagus bagiku ba yang sedang merana kat Form 6.

Konklusinya,Raya Kedua ini memang tak rugi.Sekurang-kurangnya dapat jumpa member,makan dan diberi nasihat.Macam mana pula dengan Raya Kedua korang?

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Telah berlalunya sudah sebulan,kini dah tiba pula bulan Syawal.Ai cepat sungguh masa berlalu ni!Esok ku akan keluar beraya dengan Si Ash kat rumahnya.Yang ikutku samaku pula Si Boey dengan Si Abdul.Tak boleh nak tunggu-tunggu la.Dah tak sabarla ku nak gate crash rumah Si Ash.Siapla dia esok!

Tadi baru aku pergi berjumpa dengan member-member kat tempat kerja lamaku tu.Tiba-tiba dia orang call samaku pergi Pastamania untuk makan.Tak sangka pula lepas ku resign masih boleh lagi contact dengan dia orang lagi.Akanku selalu kenang-kenangkan Makan Raya ni bersama dia orang.Memang bagusla orang-orangnya semua!Anu,hampir semua geng lama dah resign tinggal aja Si Josseim dengan Bang Li.Astaga,Si Ammar pula baru kena pecat.Adusla hai!

Entah ba tempat kerja lama aku tu!Management pula macam mangkuk,undercut semua orang.Patutla aku pun resign.Tapi teamwork kat sana tu memang mantap.Budak kitchen sama budak service boleh selalu backup sesama sendiri.Tak pernah kita orang terkangkang bila buat kerja.Susah nak jumpa keadaan sebegini kat tempat lain kan?

Walaubagaimanapun,ini time kita bercuti dan relak.Lebih baik lupakan hal-hal yang dah lalu ba.Bagi semua umat Islam di Malaysia ku mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya al-Mubarak,Maaf Zahir dan Batin.Bagi yang bukan Islam pula,terutamanya aku Selamat Gate Crash Member-member Muslim ko!Korang jangan buat apa-apa kecuali Beraya tau.Faham!