Now it's pain to see it,but i have to face the fact.My actions became my undoing.The times we spent were memorable.It will leave an imprint.My heart will be hollow once again.I've done the most painful thing in my life.

I believe in faith.Faith doesn't bless us now.Who knows it will one day?Shinning it's light on us like the first day we met.My heart is aching for what i've done.I've broken the heart of two.I have promise not to do it but today i have undone everything i have ever said.

I doubt i will ever rest well because the guilt will always be inside me.

Choice or Circumstance

"Choice not circumstance determines who we are.With circumstances there can only be choices.They coexist but a circumstance must exist before a choice can be made.We can only be who we are based on the choices made during those circumstances."-P T Quah.

10-11-2009

Blissful it seems,

Yet i don't know,

What is awaiting me,

Eager to end it.

Fear of falling,

Uncertainty kills a person,

Rots him from the inside,

Thinking of the abyss.

Shed it away from me,

Faith or test,

Which is the truth,

The left or right.

All the same,

Life is so,

If that is the test,

So let it be.

Three Lords

Three lords upon a throne,

Two ruled the skies,

The other the sea,

Then was the time of harmony.

Rites of blood never be drawn,

Dark thoughts themselves silent,

Until blood spilled from the heavens,

The heavens sundered.

The heavens never again whole,

Torn between believe and deceit,

Trust withers like autumn leaves,

The sea churns like a whirlpool.

Of the skies one large of an oak,

The other slender of a sakura,

Both above the world,

Never have they seen the fires beneath.

The Lord of The Sea towers many beings,

Horrors of the depths he had seen,

Belittled by the skies,

For this desire of their blood is his thirst.

Blessing given none return,

Illuminate brightness in darkness,

Still it is cloudy above the sea,

Storms of often in the west.

The blood of the west will fulfill the desire,

Yet pity he is to the east,

Chasing the ghosts of an unforgiving dream,

Solitude he will never find.

Prophecy of the gods be challenge,

Olympus be consumed by arrogance,

Dethroned and humbled will Olympus be,

Will the elements be masters of their

faith forever.

Three lords of their world,

Wise of old,

Talented in young,

One of sea and two of skies.

These Days

These days i have come to ponder what the youths of our society are up to all the time.As the time goes by i have noticed that the youth are different than those who were brought up in the old days like during our parents time.What do i really meant by them being different?

Well the answers lies very much in what the youths really are these days.They don't seem to be able to take hardship well with them.Many would expect the environment to change in order to suit them but the fact is they should change to suit the environment.Many still lack the fundamentals to survive in the real world even they have established strong fundamentals in scoring exams or winning DOTA.They are traped inside their beautiful world thinking that everything around them is wonderful.When problem arises,that is when they start complaining and do nothing.

Everyday we could see that many Malay youths do nothing but Mat Rempiting all day long,the Indians drinking their life out with liquor and the Chinese who are forever in the cyber cafe playing games.To these people i seriously ponder what are they trying to achieve in this lifetime.I too would like to admit that i'm a biker,drinker and a person who is fond surfing the net.Yet i conduct myself with strict discipline whereby i always know that there is something to be gained from the actions that i have done.Look for the meaning in our life.It is a constant struggle but never let it consume us.Answers can be found around us.

I would always stressed to those close to me especially the young ones that the answers always lie in front of our eyes and it's up to us whetter we wish to see it or otherwise.It's important at all times that we take actions to our hands.Be productive and don't always stand still and wait for our superiors dictate our actions.Never mind the mistakes.We learn a lot from it.

"I will not say that i have failed a thousand times.I will say i have found a thousand ways that will cause failure"-Thomas Edison.

Many of us are scared to move forth and to take the risk all beacuse of the fear of failure.Personally i have many failures in my life.Some experiences were so painful that made even me cried.Yet i would tell myself.How long would i continue to be in this way?I must rise again and succeed what i have failed to achieved today.

"In a day when you don't come across any problems you can be sure that you are traveling in the wrong path".-Swami Vivekananda.

At a young age like these we should try to gain knowledge to our best extend that we can.Every simple thing around us triggers a very deep meaning deep inside us.As our society is progressing forth with advanced technology our youths are not using technology to its best advantage.They spend much of their time blogging about trivial matters,playing games and etc.I wonder why not they use technology to spread knowledge around with friends and family or they could better try to learn something through the use of the internet.I'm also sad to admit that many of our youths have low general knowledge of the world around them.

Other than the matters discussed earlier i would like to stressed very much on our passive nature.I have found that the youths are very passive in nature.This is clearly seen in the nature of Malaysian students.They have lacked the will of inquiry within them.Many would just accept blindly any action or information given to them.In which infact i feel would soon to doom them one day.How would Europe come out of the Dark Ages if it's people didn't inquire and think of the answers.Europe came to a beginning of splendor at the Renaissance Age or also known as the Age of Inquiry.Europe's success was achieved due to the people's will to enquire.To me personally i feel to ask is to enlighten yourself from the darkness around you.

Care less of what repercussions that you might face when you ask questions instead think more of the benefits in which the answer may provide.Many youths are always assuming that they will be embarrassed for asking questions.In fact they should always question if they do not understand or feel that something is wrong.They should stand firm on their own and care less what others would think.For it is the truth they are seeking.

"Never compare yourself to anyone in this world.If you do,you are insulting yourself"-Alen Strike.

To conclude this chapter i would wish to point out again that our youths have a lot to improve on.It is essential to have themselves improved to be a better lot.What that i have expressed earlier are just some of my ideas and opinions and i know that there are many who are out there who are practicing these ideals for the betterment of their lives in which they have found through the hardship that have gone through in their lives.

"I lay upon a hope in my heart that these days will soon to be those days where we will soon become better than yesterday."-P T Quah.

Choices

Yet again i'm standing at a crossroad.I did not have a choice all this while.Yet suddenly this option appeared before me only recently.I couldn't move forth nor could i have turn around before this but now i could only see that i could only go forth with whatever decision i make.All these while i thought He would never intend of supporting me.Yet again he did the unexpected or as how i would put it "the most unexpected thought".

Before this happened i would only thought of struggling on my own.I have decided to live my own life let it be whetter  i would be rich or poor as long i did my way and i enjoy doing it.Now a new door opened itself before me.Totally new.Something that i would never had dreamed of.

I could pursue my struggle with a lot of backing from behind provided i survive today to fight on another day.I have a dream but the option given by Him is not of my liking but it is tempting.Anyone would be a fool not to accept it.Would i be a fool to push it away when it is my rightful place that was taken away from me at the beginning .I still yearn to achieve that dream.I want to know if i could achieve it and be proud of the achievement.Still i want to take back my rights from Him.

I don't wish to look back at my past one day only to say that i regretted not to have done it when i had the chance.I want live to say that i have done it and i'm proud that i have done it.Both choices at the moment are extremely tempting but which of it would be better for me.To pursue my dreams or retake my rightful position?

Maybe the choices would reveal it's true nature in due time but i just can't wait until it happens.Actions must be taken and now is the time to take that swift action.Still i can't move forth!We are spoiled by choices and it is up to us to make our dreams or ambitions happen.

I would stressed again we are forever spoiled by choices.This is the nature of choice.If it were to happen let it happen.If it were not to happen then let it be.I just feel that whatever i choose now or sooner or later is up to me to bare the consequences.This is the power of choices.Either ways the result of it is powerful and it influences a person a lot.It may even change your entire life.Decide as you walk down your path and live with the memories of the choices that you have taken along with you.

This is my final note.Let it be.

Cheat

It is alright to cheat anyone for something but the greatest sin is to cheat yourself.

P.T.Quah
7-4-2009