Whirpool That I'm In

The Years That Passed

2011-02-25T03:23:00.001-08:00

Someone dear to me once asked me,tell me a story about your life before you came to indonesia.I said,well i don't know where to end nor know where to start.Every year past by with memories etched into my head.I have never thought life would be a roller coster ride after the events of 2010.Yet i had a feeling that it would though i was always brushed it off and assumed everything was going to be great and smooth going.

I was born to a middle class family.We have almost anything in our family except the love for each other.At times,we tend to be calculative and materialistic when it comes to make a decision for the family.The age gap between me and my siblings is so wide.That i feel we grow in two different worlds.Well i can't put the blame there as my sister who is the third sibling is 13 years my senior.Thus i kind of grew up along with the kids around the neighbourhood.We had a lot of fun back then.

As time goes by,i grew up.I started attending school.I was the first in my family to enrol in a pure government school.Well it was a great experience.It developed into what i am today.School days were fun.We were innocent,happy and weren't afraid of anything.We weren't afraid of anyone nor anything,teachers,dangers and etc.We were just crazy dare devils.Yet we were afraid of our parent since they are the one controlling our finances.

As time passed,i moved on to secindary school.There began another phase in my life.We became even more crazy.Well this is another by product of studying in a boy's school.We had a lot adventures back then.Carzy adventures,great trips and stupid pranks.The alcohol,ciggarettes and the girls were all part of our life then.No matter how hard we try to fool around,we never fooled with our studies.As a matter of fact,most of my classmates are doing quite well as we speak.Most of them are pursuing a profesional course somewhere and you may never know that the guy you are sitting next to was a big time rascal back at school.

Time passed so fast,though back then it was like taking forever to past a day.After completing National Service,i obtained my SPM results.Later that year in 2008 i continue my studies into Form 6.Another defining moment again for me.Learned alot about hard work and love.Especially on the part how they sting you.I didn't really had much fun then.Was so stress with school that time and i almost quit Form 6 to pursue another course.Well i continued to linger on,and God's grace shined upon me.With the results i have obtained i was able to pursue my degree.

All things changed after i got my STPM results.The year of 2010,was a year of turmoil and i barely survive the depression.Imagine yourself going through two episodes of depression in a year.Not a fun thing at all.After going through it.Have i know now to humble myself.Love the people around me,appreciate my family and friends and myself.From that time on,i told myself that shall never another soul experience what i go through.

The times that passed showed me alot.Opened my eyes too in the process.Like they say,maybe this is god's way of teaching you.A lesson learned yet much to unravel in the future.

Friends always be grateful of what life has offered you today.Today,tomorrow,yesterday is a blessing from the Almighty.I pray every day.I hope my prayers will be answered one day.

Elusive Love

2011-01-09T15:05:00.000-08:00

Elusive yet beautiful,

They call her an elusive beauty,

Love is it her name,

Powerful and potent she is.

Her power to create life,

Sow destruction from her breath,

Capable of things of many wonders,

For so that is love.

Sometimes love is not enough,

Reinforce with understanding

and patience,

Then will it blossom,

A flower of radiance.

I once believe in her,

In a time not long ago,

Elusive Love oh Elusive Love,,

Do i now or will i ever again believe?

15-12-2010

2011-01-09T15:03:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we were laughing,

Today i am shunned,

What was not done to you,

It was like done to you.

You say i can't be forgiven,

You say i can't learned,

You say i don't deserve good,

You say i don't have it.

When i look back i see memories,

Of laughter and joy,

When i open my eyes now,

Of tears sometimes emotions pour.

For once i don't feel like returning,

For once i lost my hope,

For once i can't see anything,

For once i say no.

Questions at times i can't answer,

Answers that take a lifetime to tell,

A tale never ends and winding,

Questions that keep ringing.

Maybe to never be known,

Maybe to never be heard,

Thus said is like dust,

Blown easily after dusted.

The four corners keeps me in,

At times so dark and cold,

The warmth i see outside,

At times the only respite i have.

At this land now i walk,

Away and further i move,

May the mountains and seas hide it,

For now i only wish to be away.

With A Pen

2011-01-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

With a pen on my right,

Much have i wrote,

Stories of past and present,

Of the sun and rain.

Assorted tales of my past,

Of this life i cherish,

Some stories i can never erase,

Inked to a chapter.

When stories read again,

Memories flows like ink from

my pen,

Some chapters are best left

on the shelf,

While some read with fondness.

The permanent stain it holds,

Etches a lifetime of tales,

Bit by bit i pen down my life,

Upon a piece of paper called

memories.

A Dream

2010-12-22T00:04:00.001-08:00

Drip by drip tears fell,

From above to touch my head,

Reminds me of the moments,

Me and you were one.

Like rowing a boat in a storm,

To challenge the waves,

To overcome them,

Like hell it felt.

The sun shine on my face,

Found myself on an island,

Distant yet tranquil,

Sand of white and skies of blue.

If you were ever here,

Like how it was in my dream,

Maybe i dreamt too much,

So they say it was a dream.

Success and Failure

2010-10-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

"My greatest success was also my greatest failure and i am despised for being truthful to my feelings and thoughts".-Eddy Sanjana

30-9-2010

2010-09-29T11:27:00.001-07:00

Selat Melaka memisahkan kita,
Sang Angin yang membawa khabar,
Seikhlas hati dari Kota Medan,
Sebesar hatiku diberikan.

29-9-2010

2010-09-29T08:38:00.000-07:00

Dijanjikan tiada lagi,
Diungkapkan sesudah itu,
Di kota Medan berita sayu,
Di sini menunggu pudar.

Fact

2010-06-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes my heart is like facing a storm when i can't comprehend some facts.Facts that are harsh for me to accept but to let it go is simple because you just to live with it for what has been done has been done.Living is to see the beauty of what one can do for you and to themselves.When you see it you feel glad that you have shared your life with them and for a while there is no doubt in you.Thus i have another goal now,that is to humble my inner self."-P.T.Quah

Revelation

2010-05-24T11:37:00.001-07:00

After i have returned i have realised that i have to take my life one moment at a time.By doing so i have seen that i could see a much clearer picture of matters that are being addressed before me.Problems,issues and headaches are always around me but i have seem to take it all at the wrong way.I have always assumed that all my problems must be settled all at a single go.Well it seem to have successfully killed me in the process.

In my revelation i have realised that problems should not sum up together to be a big a problem.It is wiser to separate them so your stress level doesn't shoot all the way up until it breaks the mercuric meter.It is like when eating a cake,you can't swallow an entire cake at a single gulp but you have to cut it into simple and smaller pieces so you can chew and digest the cake more efficiently.Well you can eat many multiple small pieces but can't eat an entire cake at one go.

In the midst of solving all your problems the mind has become a very valuable asset in combating your woes.Without you realising it, the mind is always thinking no matter what time is it or whatever you maybe doing.It is the Big Ben which is always working without stopping.Yet the amount work place upon the mind must never be excessive.Like the law of physics dictates a material would bend to the force applied if the force applied is more than what the material can withstand on it's own.This means one should always work their mind based on the situation they are facing.

There is no point worrying too much of the problem of the future or the past when the current issue must be address and solve during that particular period of time.No matter how hard we are thinking about the rest we will never solve anything until the current matter has been resolved.Thus one should face their issues one at a time.

One should always remember to live a happy live.Do not be so stiff in life.Happiness is important and it must be treasured always.Take your steps one at a time if you try to take a Great Leap you might end up like a Red Chairman.

Voices of Chaos

2010-05-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

The voices whisper in him,

Surround him like a ghost,

Their cackling even clearer,

A nightmare in autumn.

Digging in his conscious,

Feeding him with nightmares,

Corruption within his soul,

Lost of faith towards the Truth.

Sanity tips the balance,

Pondering the time for walls to fall,

His destiny to fall to Chaos,

Their voices speak clearer in time.

Voices of Chaos,

A battle of sanity against madness,

When will it stop,

May peace be upon his soul.

Board

2010-04-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

"It is never hard to board a ship but the hardest is to steer it to the right destination"-P.T.Quah

Question

2010-04-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

"Question not the orders given by your superior but question the rationale behind his orders"-P.T.Quah .

Peribahasa Kampung

2010-03-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

"Ikan mati kerana umpan namun seorang lelaki mati kerana seorang gadis."-Peribahasa dari Pulau Langkawi.

Di Tanjung Harapan

2010-01-30T10:49:00.000-08:00

Menutup hatiku daripada dunia ini,

Mendengar pukulan ombak di situ,

Menenangkan jiwaku yang bergelora,

Mengharapkan suasana sejuk berubah bahagia.

Melihatkan pantulan sinaran matahari,

Bagaikan emas bertaburan di atas laut,

Bila Sang Angin meniup ke mari,

Kulihatkan rambutNya bermain dengan

arus Sang Angin.

Saban hari melihatkan ketegangan dalam

mataNya,

Tetapi hari ini aku melepaskan perasaan itu,

Bila aku memeluk diriNya dekat pada hatiku,

Kelegaan disuarakan daripada suara hatiNya.

Aku datang ke sini dengan harapan,

Berharapan menenangkan jiwa dua insan,

Di sini aku menemui harapanku,

Di sinilah di Tanjung Harapan.

28-1-2010

2010-01-28T07:55:00.000-08:00

"If you going to commit a crime you could just do it on the other side of the road."-Anonymous Malaysian.

Forgive or Forget?

2010-01-22T10:06:00.000-08:00

Humans are often spoilt by choices and there are times there are certain choices that are hard to make.Thus it is said,choices can only be made based on the circumstances that an individual might be facing.I'd like to approach this topic which i find it to be quite interesting based on a revelation shown from someone close to me.

This topic is an elaborate topic which covers many areas but i would like to approach this topic based on a case where most people are familiar with.The case sounds like this,try imagining yourself in a situation whereby you got angry at someone for something he has done to you.He may hurt you a lot or he may hurt you a little.The whole point is that you are hurt and you are angry.So what would you?Would you forgive or forget?

We can attempt to approach this matter in two ways:

1:Forgive

A person once pointed out to me that you should learn to forgive in the first place.Forgiving makes you lose that grudge you have upon a person.Thus such an action would helps a person to let go of the anger from him.Try to see yourself as a burette filled with many unwanted chemicals within the apparatus.The anger is just like those unwanted chemicals.Now we just need to release all of the chemicals to empty the burette for it to become clean.When we are able to release the knob withholding the chemicals the burette would just become empty and pure again.Therefore to forgive is just like releasing all the unwanted anger away and by doing so we feel peaceful within ourselves.

2:Forget

Well now forgetting is also a component you may need or should need if you are facing such a situation.Forgetting some incident is in-fact good for anyone who is facing a tough time forgiving.Some sins are so hard to be forgiven that we should just forget about it.Someone said this to me before that by forgetting you are running away from your problem.Well it is actually how he forgets that resolves this issue.One should forget such a sin that has been done and move on with his life.Sometimes even when you might have forgiven somemone but if forgiving has not let out the anger what would you do?Well it is time to hit a reset button to erase all this feeling towards that memory.Thus a person who forgets can move on without lingering in past pains.It's just like reformatting your computer.

Well some might argue that forgiving can release your anger some might argue that forgetting is actually the solution.Sometimes forgiving is good but how sure is one that his anger has not dissipated or forgetting is just sometimes reluctance of facing your feelings.As you can see if one does not practice forgiving or forgetting the right way he might just end up in this dilemma.

This issue can get even more complex but i have tried to put it in a very simple way for everyone to understand.Choices are easy to make but we must never make the process of choice making anymore complex because believe me it is in-fact very easy to be done.One should just give yourself only two options "to do it or not to do it".The left or right,up or down?Why need so much drama?

To me forgiving and forgetting are equally good in the process of handling anger.Try to take it as a sort of anger management therapy.If you can't forgive then forget or vice versa because in the end of the day you just want to remove anger from you.Choose wisely which method that may fit your style for i'm sure you want to move on and create a new chapter in life.

Forgive or forget?You decide for yourself.

2010-01-17T03:05:00.000-08:00

Now it's pain to see it,but i have to face the fact.My actions became my undoing.The times we spent were memorable.It will leave an imprint.My heart will be hollow once again.I've done the most painful thing in my life.

I believe in faith.Faith doesn't bless us now.Who knows it will one day?Shinning it's light on us like the first day we met.My heart is aching for what i've done.I've broken the heart of two.I have promise not to do it but today i have undone everything i have ever said.

I doubt i will ever rest well because the guilt will always be inside me.

Choice or Circumstance

2009-12-28T00:40:00.000-08:00

"Choice not circumstance determines who we are.With circumstances there can only be choices.They coexist but a circumstance must exist before a choice can be made.We can only be who we are based on the choices made during those circumstances."-P T Quah.

10-11-2009

2009-11-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

Blissful it seems,

Yet i don't know,

What is awaiting me,

Eager to end it.

Fear of falling,

Uncertainty kills a person,

Rots him from the inside,

Thinking of the abyss.

Shed it away from me,

Faith or test,

Which is the truth,

The left or right.

All the same,

Life is so,

If that is the test,

So let it be.

Three Lords

2009-08-19T23:08:00.000-07:00

Three lords upon a throne,

Two ruled the skies,

The other the sea,

Then was the time of harmony.

Rites of blood never be drawn,

Dark thoughts themselves silent,

Until blood spilled from the heavens,

The heavens sundered.

The heavens never again whole,

Torn between believe and deceit,

Trust withers like autumn leaves,

The sea churns like a whirlpool.

Of the skies one large of an oak,

The other slender of a sakura,

Both above the world,

Never have they seen the fires beneath.

The Lord of The Sea towers many beings,

Horrors of the depths he had seen,

Belittled by the skies,

For this desire of their blood is his thirst.

Blessing given none return,

Illuminate brightness in darkness,

Still it is cloudy above the sea,

Storms of often in the west.

The blood of the west will fulfill the desire,

Yet pity he is to the east,

Chasing the ghosts of an unforgiving dream,

Solitude he will never find.

Prophecy of the gods be challenge,

Olympus be consumed by arrogance,

Dethroned and humbled will Olympus be,

Will the elements be masters of their

faith forever.

Three lords of their world,

Wise of old,

Talented in young,

One of sea and two of skies.

These Days

2009-07-05T08:31:00.000-07:00

These days i have come to ponder what the youths of our society are up to all the time.As the time goes by i have noticed that the youth are different than those who were brought up in the old days like during our parents time.What do i really meant by them being different?

Well the answers lies very much in what the youths really are these days.They don't seem to be able to take hardship well with them.Many would expect the environment to change in order to suit them but the fact is they should change to suit the environment.Many still lack the fundamentals to survive in the real world even they have established strong fundamentals in scoring exams or winning DOTA.They are traped inside their beautiful world thinking that everything around them is wonderful.When problem arises,that is when they start complaining and do nothing.

Everyday we could see that many Malay youths do nothing but Mat Rempiting all day long,the Indians drinking their life out with liquor and the Chinese who are forever in the cyber cafe playing games.To these people i seriously ponder what are they trying to achieve in this lifetime.I too would like to admit that i'm a biker,drinker and a person who is fond surfing the net.Yet i conduct myself with strict discipline whereby i always know that there is something to be gained from the actions that i have done.Look for the meaning in our life.It is a constant struggle but never let it consume us.Answers can be found around us.

I would always stressed to those close to me especially the young ones that the answers always lie in front of our eyes and it's up to us whetter we wish to see it or otherwise.It's important at all times that we take actions to our hands.Be productive and don't always stand still and wait for our superiors dictate our actions.Never mind the mistakes.We learn a lot from it.

"I will not say that i have failed a thousand times.I will say i have found a thousand ways that will cause failure"-Thomas Edison.

Many of us are scared to move forth and to take the risk all beacuse of the fear of failure.Personally i have many failures in my life.Some experiences were so painful that made even me cried.Yet i would tell myself.How long would i continue to be in this way?I must rise again and succeed what i have failed to achieved today.

"In a day when you don't come across any problems you can be sure that you are traveling in the wrong path".-Swami Vivekananda.

At a young age like these we should try to gain knowledge to our best extend that we can.Every simple thing around us triggers a very deep meaning deep inside us.As our society is progressing forth with advanced technology our youths are not using technology to its best advantage.They spend much of their time blogging about trivial matters,playing games and etc.I wonder why not they use technology to spread knowledge around with friends and family or they could better try to learn something through the use of the internet.I'm also sad to admit that many of our youths have low general knowledge of the world around them.

Other than the matters discussed earlier i would like to stressed very much on our passive nature.I have found that the youths are very passive in nature.This is clearly seen in the nature of Malaysian students.They have lacked the will of inquiry within them.Many would just accept blindly any action or information given to them.In which infact i feel would soon to doom them one day.How would Europe come out of the Dark Ages if it's people didn't inquire and think of the answers.Europe came to a beginning of splendor at the Renaissance Age or also known as the Age of Inquiry.Europe's success was achieved due to the people's will to enquire.To me personally i feel to ask is to enlighten yourself from the darkness around you.

Care less of what repercussions that you might face when you ask questions instead think more of the benefits in which the answer may provide.Many youths are always assuming that they will be embarrassed for asking questions.In fact they should always question if they do not understand or feel that something is wrong.They should stand firm on their own and care less what others would think.For it is the truth they are seeking.

"Never compare yourself to anyone in this world.If you do,you are insulting yourself"-Alen Strike.

To conclude this chapter i would wish to point out again that our youths have a lot to improve on.It is essential to have themselves improved to be a better lot.What that i have expressed earlier are just some of my ideas and opinions and i know that there are many who are out there who are practicing these ideals for the betterment of their lives in which they have found through the hardship that have gone through in their lives.

"I lay upon a hope in my heart that these days will soon to be those days where we will soon become better than yesterday."-P T Quah.

Choices

2009-05-03T09:46:00.000-07:00

Yet again i'm standing at a crossroad.I did not have a choice all this while.Yet suddenly this option appeared before me only recently.I couldn't move forth nor could i have turn around before this but now i could only see that i could only go forth with whatever decision i make.All these while i thought He would never intend of supporting me.Yet again he did the unexpected or as how i would put it "the most unexpected thought".

Before this happened i would only thought of struggling on my own.I have decided to live my own life let it be whetter i would be rich or poor as long i did my way and i enjoy doing it.Now a new door opened itself before me.Totally new.Something that i would never had dreamed of.

I could pursue my struggle with a lot of backing from behind provided i survive today to fight on another day.I have a dream but the option given by Him is not of my liking but it is tempting.Anyone would be a fool not to accept it.Would i be a fool to push it away when it is my rightful place that was taken away from me at the beginning .I still yearn to achieve that dream.I want to know if i could achieve it and be proud of the achievement.Still i want to take back my rights from Him.

I don't wish to look back at my past one day only to say that i regretted not to have done it when i had the chance.I want live to say that i have done it and i'm proud that i have done it.Both choices at the moment are extremely tempting but which of it would be better for me.To pursue my dreams or retake my rightful position?

Maybe the choices would reveal it's true nature in due time but i just can't wait until it happens.Actions must be taken and now is the time to take that swift action.Still i can't move forth!We are spoiled by choices and it is up to us to make our dreams or ambitions happen.

I would stressed again we are forever spoiled by choices.This is the nature of choice.If it were to happen let it happen.If it were not to happen then let it be.I just feel that whatever i choose now or sooner or later is up to me to bare the consequences.This is the power of choices.Either ways the result of it is powerful and it influences a person a lot.It may even change your entire life.Decide as you walk down your path and live with the memories of the choices that you have taken along with you.

This is my final note.Let it be.

Cheat

2009-04-06T23:07:00.000-07:00

It is alright to cheat anyone for something but the greatest sin is to cheat yourself.

P.T.Quah
7-4-2009

Katsumoto's Sacrifice

2009-03-26T04:44:00.000-07:00

Standing by the gate awaiting the legion.Finally they arrived but only to storm into the city without Katsumoto.What deed has he done to earn such dishonour that even the chapter master would not even say?The chapter master just gave a cold reply and went on his way.His heart felt the pain of a thousand needles piercing it but the pain was never there.It was even deeper within him.It is a great shame to him that his honour could only be retained by commiting hara kiri.

For months,Katsumoto sacrificed his strength and time for the greater good of the legion.He is only but a human.A human that commits mistakes and a sinner that sinned before God's mighty eyes.Great things he had forged for the greater good so that the legion may rip the benefits out of it.Still the blasphemous legion looked upon him like a heretic that must purged by the fire of their glorious legion.Why must the chapter masters command him to forge those pillars of support and forsaken him at the time when he needed their guidance the most.This warrior now stands at the crossroads of dillema where either of both choices look equally bleak.

Guidance may not be given in the form that the legion had wished.Still it came in other forms.He didn't mind guiding them from a far for his respects to the chapter captain was of a mutual respect.Yet Katsumoto could just never obey a captain who has no honour.Neither is he in the position to lead the legion as he never had the experience or the commitment in leading them.He had always believe in leading by example.Thus he had never wish to commit any wrongdoings that could have dishonour him.Still he had searched for many ways to share their burden.He has always been a man who could not express himself well with others and has a heart of ice.Conflict eventually brewed from within.

Now Katsumoto realised that almost the entire legion functions like a leech.They just drop off from your body when they are full.The most obvious among them were the chapter masters who held command of the legion.Still there are some who gave hope to Katsumoto.Those of the young initiates whose minds are not yet tainted by the filth of arrogance.He still wish he could teach and guide them more but time has come for him to close this chapter of his life.

It is now time for him to return to the Dark Library to acquire even deeper knowledge to combat a more horrifying being than the battles he had ever fought.It has come to the time for him to be selfish for once for he had sacrificed everything for the legion and only to be repaid by the legion with dust.It hurts but it couldn't be uttered.

Thus this is the end a story.The ending sacrifice of a young chaplain of the doomed legion.

Actions

2009-03-20T01:33:00.000-07:00

There is no wrong done in your actions but there is everything right to be done in your actions.

P.T.Quah
20-3-2009

Dedicated to those who are about to take big drastic actions in life.May hope always shine upon the road ahead of you.

Standing Up For The Truth

2009-01-24T22:55:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that at a tender age of our teenage years,we are extremely capable of gossiping,back stabbing,or sabotaging for our own gains.We could make very good politicians and infact we could make that one of our career options.Yet with all these extraordinary capabalities we are yet not able to be true to ourselves.We have yet to find a day when we could stand before others and say that "I'm here standing before you willing to put my life on the line for the sake of the truth".

We are still hiding in the shadows unwilling to come out of it.Instead as we are sitting there we are shooting and killing the game far from view.A few days ago during my MUET class,i could see that many could debate fantastically among each other.Each others' arguments could just cut off in an instant.I looked at them wondering when the time comes for them to fight for the truth would they fight as hard as they could argue during their debates.

Everyone in the world could debate.Even a beggar could argue with the police saying that what he stole was justified.Standing up for yourself is never easy.I do say i've seen very few who are willing to fight and bare the outcomes of it.As a saying goes it's better to die with honour then live with none.

I had a slight argument with someone once.That person asked me wheter i'd pay a visit to my teacher and i replied that i'm not going to please anyone.That person said i shouldn't say that but has she forgotten that our teacher did say "i really don't want you guys to come".I just got quite upset with that sentence.I respect my teacher a lot but sometimes not everyone does the right thing.I never put respect and like on the same page.If i were to keep on writing,much misunderstandings will occur.So for now that incident stops here.

What i'm trying to say is that if someone throws a pile of crap at your face just admit it and don't go around saying that you were given a bouquet of flowers.Stand up for the truth!

Hangover

2008-12-31T20:31:00.000-08:00

Happy New Years guys!Just got an invitation last night from a good friend of mine to party at his place.Drinks and food were flowing smoothly.All there is for the guest to do is to keep taking in the heat until you are down.I couldn't even remember how many shots of whisky i took but i now it should be a lot.Since i started drinking from 11pm until 5am.First time in my life i took a lot of shots of in a short time.

Don't get me wrong.I'm not trying to show that i'm hell of a great drinker.What i'm trying to say i have not been having fun like this eversince i left my secondary school.At the moment i am suffering from a bloody hangover.Bloody headache since just morning and i'm even not at home while posting this blog.I'm still at my host's house waiting for my bloody headache to subside.

Hope many did have a wonderful time last night because i knew i did.For sure our PDRM had a wonderful bonus for the New Year!

New Job

2008-12-10T13:07:00.000-08:00

I've got a job this Monday at Delifrance Jaya Jusco Bukit Tinggi.It's just a job as a kitchen crew.What it's interesting is that i happened to be at the right place and time to get the job.I happened to be at my friends house on Sunday night when they told me about the vacancy in Delifrance.I got to know that the previous kitchen crew quit their job as soon as they receive their pay.I have been looking for a new job lately as the tuition centre that hired me to set up banners couldn't obtain a license from MPK.Thus i was jobless eversince i got back from Siam.

The first day was a real shock for me as it is the first time whereby i happened to cook for the customers.Although i have worked in a restaurant before but i was a service crew.Now i'm the part of the kitchen.Lucky for me i have been observing the chefs at the previous restaurant where i worked.So i had been able to use their skills to practise in the kitchen.I maybe clumsy at the moment but i hope pick up soon.The headache is to remember all the recipe and cooking methods.I can't even remember how many dishes that are stated at the menu.

The interesting part is i only work from a single four hours shift from noon until four in the afternoon.The pay is reasonable.Now i have achieved another dream of mine for being able to work in the kitchen.I just can't be too far away from food it seems!

Blogging

2008-12-10T12:56:00.000-08:00

People blog for many reasons.Some have sad stories to tell,some share their ideas,some may spread lies,or even share their experience.Blogging as i have found is a very useful tool to express anything you have up in your head to others.To me that's what blogging is all about.Regardless of anything,everyone should have the chance to express their views.That is the meaning of the freedom of speech but one has to be mindful not abuse it.

If i'm not mistaken this post would be the 37th post to date.So i have my equal share of emotional stories,poems,views and experience that i have shared.It's been really nice to have the chance to express all of these in writing.I always had the intention of writing something that pops up in my mind.I'm grateful to live in modern age where everything could just written on the web.It's great to have finally start writing something of the mind.

Being Me

2008-12-07T08:10:00.000-08:00

I have some feedback from others saying that i'm too rude to be.They hated me for it.So some would ask me do i feel frustrated about it.Why would i feel such a way and why should i even care about what they think.A simple policy goes within me you don't go cursing them then it would be a problem.No need to feel frustrated about it.If they feel it so much when i cursed then i'd suggest go and file a police report on me.

True as many have spoken to me.You can't expect others to be the same as you.Especially when it comes to having a mindset like mine.I don't want to expect anything at all but just let it be.I'm thinking about it over and over.Finally i came to a conclusion that there is no point hoping for such an event to happen because it won't.So sit down and relax and enjoy the show.Let these people run around.Let them hit the wall for a change.Let them feel it.I'm not going to do anything.

No point bothering about others accepting you if you can't even accept yourself.Important is you yourself.I like being me.I'm not going to walk same path as you might.I know what and who i am.
Though i may damn myself for another year it's going to be a good show.

It would be fine if i would only curse in front of guys but i've met those girls who eventually curse too alongside.They are not far from us they are right around us.We are fine around but many find us not fine up in our heads.Again i'd say who cares.I maybe talking of some nonsense here to some.In the end everyone has their own judgement.

A story goes,a group of human walked into a forest and saw a bunch of monkeys.They said that the monkeys were an ugly bunch.The monkey said the same of the man to its kind.What is the moral behind the encounter?It's for you to figure out.

Lets Talk About Something

2008-12-04T09:56:00.000-08:00

Our national education system has been designed to fail us Malaysians right from the very beginning of the implementation of it's policies upon us.Many of us have to go through many stages of the national examination in our lives notably the UPSR,PMR and SPM.If you are unlucky enough you might go through the toughest of the whole lot which is the STPM.

Not to belittle these exams or the lessons we have learned throughout the eleven years that we have spent in school learning on the ways that many would say to help us build a brighter future.Truth is all that we have gone through are for nothing.What do we actually learn?That is the question that has been filling the minds of some that have found out the true meaning of learning for an eternity.

The syllabus that were taught are interesting but has it not occurred to some that much of what we learn are irrelevant in the future.For instance if a person does not seem to be in the field of biology in the future ,why should he be forced to learn or sit for that subject in the exams when what he would learned soon that it would not be irrelevant in the future if he would be in a profession outside the field of biology.It would be better that he be given a chance to choose a subject that he knows that he has a potential future on.

The teachers have been on the wrong track for long enough.They have been forced to teach or finish up the syllabus before the exams.I would say that teachers have their good intentions placed on the side of the track going down to Singapore.What is the point of scoring all A's in the exams when in fact the students these days have lacked what is to become a human.My generation and the ones to come are slowly being degenerated into robots.Everything is about the A's and only that alone is in their mindset.Only the teachers can show us the light as they are our guide.If they open the wrong door for us then we are doomed for good.They should pause a moment and reflect back to their time when they were younger and figure out whether this is necessary for us.

Exams are good no doubt.To my humble opinion it is the only way to know if you are ready or not.The situation has turn to be that the students are trained for the exam but nothing for the life beyond that.It's ashamed to know that even degree holders can't get a decent job or worse even a job these days.It all boils down back to very beginning when we were back in school.

Co-curricular activities have also been forsaken for good grades.Many of us think of this program as a waste of time and they think of it as a bonus for them to get into universities.It's neither a waste of time or it is bonus mark provider.It's useful in helping many of the young guys like us to learn a new skill or earn a useful experience for future use.It's hard to describe the experience that i meant but to me it had opened the eyes of a few of us.As i would put it every experience is a lesson.It's somewhere where knowledge could only harvested where the books can't help.

If this trend and mindset are going to persist.Malaysian's are not going to venture far.In fact we will be running in circles.Thus we will only be damned by our own doing.We should stand up for what we do know that is not right instead of immersing ourselves in our wrongdoings.We must be brave enough to resist this dark doing and brace ourselves for a new change which can benefit Malaysia.The words"change we believe in" which are frequently mentioned by Mr Obama in his speeches shows that if we want a change we have to believe.If we believe then we will change.

Apa Ko Hendakkan Dariku

2008-11-19T12:11:00.000-08:00

Telah ku melangkah diriku ke hadapan,
Mengapa mu hendakkan menahanku
daripada meninggalkan silamku,
Adakah ku telah berdosa amat terhadapmu?
Sudah ku melepaskan semuanya,
Tidak juga mu fahami.

Perkara yang diperihalkan dikatakan
amat muda,
Entahlah apa perkara yang dapat
dijadikan berharga,
Apa ko hendakkan dariku,
Telah cukup mu menghisap darah,
Hantu sepertimu sudah cukup di sekitarku.

Cukuplah mu!
Jangan sampai apiku mula membara,
Jangan hinggakan diriku yang lampau
timbul dari kubur,
Telah cukupku saksikan.

Hendakkan ku buat mu faham,
Tapi untuk apa,
Telah ku sampai di tempat perjumpaan,
Tapi di mana mu?
Tak juga ku lihat-lihatkan,
Alangkah baiknya jika bukan begitu.

Pedih di hati bila diludah di muka oleh
yang disangkakan sahabat,
Tidak sampai hatiku melihatnya,
Salah yang dilakukanmu tidak dirasa,
Bermaharajalela mu di sini sana,
Mu tidak akan bermain lama di sini.

Balasan siap tertulis oleh takdir,
Sehingga itu akan ku perlahan-lahan
menahan kerenahmu,
Bila mu ditimpa suratan takdir
janganlah salahkanku,
Mu yang bawakan ke atas dirimu,
Kalau boleh sehingga masa itu
senyaplah.

Ps:Mu dan aku cuma berdiri pada tanah yang sama.Janganlah mu sangkakan mu itu di kayangan.Akan mu jatuh ke tempat asalmu suatu hari nanti.

Tengah Bercuti Ba

2008-11-19T02:14:00.001-08:00

Sudahlah sampai cutiku akhirnya.Nasibku amat baik sekali.Sudah empat tahun ku tak pulang ke kampung halaman.Akhirnya ku sudah berpeluang untuk pulang ke Siam untuk berehat.Sesudah sampainya cuti ini,telah ku sedari betapa penatnya ku.Penatnya teramat sekali sehingga ku rasai betapa rindunya ku terhadap masa lampau.Entah ba apa yang ku akan buatkan semasa ku sampai di sana nanti.

Lima hari di sana akan ku gunakan sehabis-habisnya.Untuk apa ku penatkan diriku sehingga begini.Cuma ku yang tahu.Cuti sekolah terkini ini patut digunakan untuk berehat dengan secukupnya.Maklum ba lepas masuk tahun baru,cuti tidak akan seperti cuti kerana kita akan menghidapi penyakit.Penyakit apa itu orang akan bilang samaku.Ku akan menjawab penyakit peperiksaan la sayang!Semua budak-budak 6 Atas akan menghidapinya.Sepanjang itu,tidur dan makan pun tidak akan cukup masanya.

Sepanjang cuti ini telah ku rancangkan beberapa perkara untuk kecapi.Cuma kini perlu ku untuk melaksanakannya.Namun yang paling penting ialah untuk rehat secukupnya.Seperti yang ku katakan tadi,lepas ini semua akan menghidapi penyakit.Jadi relaks kita tengah bercuti ba!

To Say What I Needed To Say

2008-11-11T00:19:00.000-08:00

It's a final relieve that i could get everything out that i have kept within me.It was a frustrating business to be a monitor and a student at the same time.I'm a man with many flaws and never expected to be perfect all the time.So i need them to show me my mistakes like a mirror.Same it goes to them.Therefore i don't apprreciate it if someone goes around my back and say things about me.If there is any problem one would just need to come forth and confront me.A person who could give a constructive criticism is a winner then the person who could not accept it.Thus one must confront the situation beforehand.To be accused as a molester in front of a teacher really pisses me off.I'm a man and i do like ladies but i do know how to respect a ladies body.

As so most of us will be together for another year.We have to learn to cooperate and accept one another.Don't judge a person for what he is on the outside but instead learn to judge from the inside of someone.I admit that i'm a Barbarian but i'm willing to accept anyone into my circle of friends.As for the others who think that they someone of higher status that could not accept me.I'm very fine with it.I look forward to find a more meaningful friendship.At the same time don't ever judge others by their skin colour.We are staying together in Malaysia we should to forge that spirit of Bangsa Malaysia to live as one under the same roof.

As a class monitor,i find it very frustrating to see that i'm the one running when the rest are still sitting down looking at me with a blank stare.I can't just bare the sight to know i have swam to the other side of the river only to turn behind to see that the other twenty three are still over the other side of the river and still have not cross it.I don't mind if they have crossed it even if i have to stay behind to make sure that they have crossed the river safely.My concept has always been one rise all rise,one fall all fall.That was how i was trained and brought up to be.Rank is not a privilage but a burden that you must bare until the very end.

I have walked to where i have to meet them.The questions remains is wheter they have walked to where am i standing now.I don't want any sorry or to be sorry at.I just want to forgive and forget.Let the past be bygone.I want some peace within me.It's time for me to let go and let my time past.At this stage of my life,i have looked behind and realised that i have walked a long road and the journey ahead of me is still long and hard.

As much i have sinned towards others,they too have sinned that much towards me.If i have done any mistakes towards any of you.Please accept my humble apologies and please guide me to the right track.I have finally have said what i needed to say after these six months.

Dalam Perjalanan

2008-11-09T02:40:00.000-08:00

Mungkinkah aku telah menemui jawapannya,

Telah ku genggamkan sehingga menjadi abu,

Cuma berharapan aku telah melaksanakannya,

Kini aku ingin mencari ketenangan dalam diriku,

Telah sampai masanya ku berundur.

Pangkat itu bukannya satu anugerah,

Tapi ianya satu beban yang harus dipikul

sehingga ke hujung jalan,

Aku sanggup memikulnya,

Aku di sini menahan setiap saatnya,

Sehingga semua telah sampai dengan selamat,

Biarpun badanku binasa.

Sekelilingku tiada sesiapa pun,

Berjalan seorang diri di dalam gelap,

Kalaulah ini hanyalah satu mimpi,

Kenyataan memang nyata,

Sakit itu terasa amat dalam diriku.

Namun aku cuma seorang manusia,

Tanpa keperitan maka tiada makna

dalam diriku,

Menoleh ke belakang telah ku sedari,

Telah jauh ku berjalan,

Kini aku di sini,

Ku hendak menjelajah lagi,

Masih banyak perlu ku pelajari
dalam perjalanan.

Orders

2008-11-05T04:25:00.000-08:00

Orders are orders you must execute them.The differences are the officers that are executing the orders.

Lt.Azwar bin Abdul Talib(TLDM)

Kem Plkn Paya Indah,Kuala Langat,Selangor.

Warning

2008-11-02T04:57:00.000-08:00

To you fellows who have turn my c-box into a pure crap box.This is warning for you guys to get out before your IP add is banned.

I have created this blog in the intention of sharing my ideas and lessons that i have learned in my life with others.Therefore in return i would appreciate it if the readers could share constructive ideas and criticism with me.Not in the intention for you guys to pour nonsense all over it.

I welcome everyone into my blog.No one would be rejected and please change your mindset.Use blogs for good use.If you wish to spam,please go make your own and spam yours.Please heed my request.

Eversince That Day

2008-11-02T04:36:00.000-08:00

Minutes and seconds passed by,
Finally i got the courage to say it to you,
Your smile gave me hope,
But the reply was a stab to my heart,
I choose to wait with hope,
That one day you will accept me in you,
As how i hold you dear in me.

For now i must retreat,
For i do not wish to stir wrong intentions,
Still thinking of you in my mind,
Oh I can't smile without you,
I can't live without you,
I find it hard to do anything.

I just can't stand the silence,
I just can't stand being insane,
When you don't say a thing to me,
It's been like this ever since that day,
When you said I'm sorry,
Oh I'll wait for you,
I will.

Note:This was written on hope that one day if she ever passes by would read it.I just don't know what else to do.

The Coming End Of Our Term

2008-10-29T03:39:00.000-07:00

I've got another two weeks until the end of this semester.Now i'm looking for a job to support myself throughout the holidays.Just a while ago before posting this blog Cikgu Aziz introduced me to Mr Liew who is the latest tuition competitor in town.The meeting went on smoothly and it seems he would offer me a job hanging banners and distributing pamphlets around Klang.I don't really care what kind of job i'm going to get provided i get paid and it's worth my time.

I just can't be expecting to be living on my monthly allowances every month.At least i should stock up some money for the coming rainy days.Life is really tough down here.Food,fuel and fag prices is at all time high.It's really making a hole in my pocket.Sometimes i'm just very jealous of my friends whom their parents are very supportive in every matter.Money is always not a problem for them but for me it always is.

Thus the coming holiday is not going to be a holiday for me.Got three biology projects coming up,tuitions are on throughout the duration of the holidays,got to study a little since i screwed my exams up,i also intend on getting my probationary license and if i got a got a job it's going to be damn busy for me.The point is it is going to be a real hectic holiday but at least it's better than going to school.I love my life outside school!

To all life is not easy now so brace yourself for the worst.Cheers!

What A Week

2008-10-27T03:16:00.000-07:00

I would say that in my life last week was the most lousiest week ever to hit me in the face.My world really came crashing down.A lot of things got me from all directions until i just feel like going nuts.Nobody noticed anything.I've just been keeping everything inside and i didn't tell anything out other than my closet companions.I just had no idea what to say but to swallow everything in myself.Got to digest it on my own.

It happened to me that i have been washed away by the wave.But i said back to the ocean that i will wait for you.Patiently i will do.

Thank god anyway i went to Kuala Lumpur yesterday to take a break from everything.I met up with Abdullah and Shaun.They are both my good friends.So we idiots had fun all day and i got back from Kuala Lumpur almost close to midnight.At least it had helped eleviate my mood.I had been extremely moody lately.Even my mom had to ask me to go out and have a break.

Today pula,i gate crashed into five houses.I really ate a lot and i am damn full.Best part was that the fun day i had breed a hell of a headache.So at the moment i am nursing it.The things i got into lately really makes me want to ram my head on the wall.Goodness Christ!!This is the truth:Crap happens so live with it!

Oh yes to all my Hindu friends.Happy Deepavali to all you guys and your family.Have a nice day everyone.

What I Have Seen

2008-10-19T02:45:00.000-07:00

I have seen many type of people as i grew older.It seems that whenever you see something new.Your mind seem to open up a little to the world.Like a child who has never seen what canned beans are but after he had opened it he finally knows what he is looking for.I mixed with many types of people.I have been around mat rempits,mat rockers,soldiers,nerds,nut cases like me,religious people and the list keeps going on and on year after year.

At least through this sort of exposure,it tells you what the world is all about out there.The world is not concentrated in our books.Instead it's out there waiting for us to learn it.First of all we have to be brave enough to swim into it.For those who have the habit of rejecting others and thinking that they are great,they are going to have a major heart attack when they leave school.

The world is full struggle,in the course our journey we have to mix to survive.I do not mean that you have to be a mat rempit to mix.Just get to know them at least you get to know a thing or two.If you could be a better friend to them you will pull them out that lousy lifestyle of theirs.So what if that person smokes,drinks or swears?Does it make him a bad person?Important is that he or she has some sense of loyalty and honour in him.It happened to me when my non smoking,non drinking and non swearing friend backstabs me while my smoking,drinking and happy to swear friend is the only one who bail me out during my darkest hours.

Don't judge them by what you see but instead dig deep down into them and know them for what they are.If i have not done so to you please forgive me.

Kebenganganku

2008-10-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

Saban hariku melaluinya,
Terasa melalui ombak yang kuat
di tengah lautan,
Hendak ku langkahkan diriku ke dalam
kegelapan,
Tertanyaku pada diriku,
Apa dah terjadi?
Kekosongan di angkasa cumaku
nampakkan.

Kebenganganku seperti kemarahan
Tuan Perapi,
Terkawal hanya dengan kesabaran,
Kesabaranku terbatas ukurannya,
Entah sampai bilaku boleh mengawalnya,
Hanya menunggu saat kapal ini berlabuh
di Melaka.

Mungkinkah jawapan kepadanya dapat
dicari di Melaka,
Jika tiada ku merantau mencari akan
jawapannya,
Walaupun terpaksa berhujan batu
di negeri urang,
Berharapan pada suatu hari kebenganganku
dapat dijadikan abu,
Lalu dilupakan seperti ditiupkan ke langit,
Oleh itu ku mencari jawapan.

Final Semester

2008-10-13T23:51:00.000-07:00

It has been two days since the exam started.It's not easy for me as i have only started to study two days before the exam started.I have really gotten myself into deep trouble.I dare not think of my results that i'll obtained.

It's also the final semester now.Life in school is coming to an end for this year.PMR is also on the timetable for the week.Goodness,it has been three years since my Form 3 days.By the end of October it would be a year since i left La Salle.Time really flies!So a simple advice to all of you,spend it well and don't waste it.Take every risk in life don't just swim at the shallow side of the sea instead go deeper even it means losing your breath.The experience is worth a lifetime.

Oh yes for your info i still didn't say anything to her yet.Yes the secret is killing me.I can't think of anything much for the moment as the exam is still on.One day I'll try to say it.

To those who are sitting for their final semester exams.Good luck and do your best.

The Coming Battle

2008-10-12T03:53:00.000-07:00

So it begins again.As every soldier begins sharpening their blades for the coming battle.Hordes of enemy will come and we will stand our ground to the end.Or take our life in shame as demanded by the code.Supplies are heavily stocked while rations were carefully given out to everyone.Still morale does not look good as weariness sets in our minds.

The coming battle will take it's toll.Some will be the victor some will be the loser.No one knows.Only fate remains in God's hand as so He can decide.As i await the coming of it.The tune of the Amazing Grace could be heard throughout the encampment from the bagpipes of our fellow White Scars.How sweet and amazing is God's grace.

Tomorrow at dawn,my company and the other five companies will march into the battlefield.The first shot will be from my side.The coming battle has arrived so have we the Raven Guards.

Purge,Cleanse and Kill!

6-10-2008

2008-10-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

As it began it was only a seedling,
Growth was a dilemma,
Lost in its surrounding,
Uncertain of the future was I,
It's stormy ahead.

Now a blossomed Sakura in spring,
Awaiting the coming of autumn,
If it has arrived,
Would the weather bare uncertainty?

Standing by the cliff was I where the Sakura
stands blossomed,
Awaiting the arrival of the autumn days,
Thus i await it as the Sakura petals falls
gently to Mother Earth.

This Week

2008-10-11T08:42:00.000-07:00

First three days of this week i couldn't sleep.A lot of things were running through my mind and i just couldn't get it out.Restless was i and many people noticed it including Mrs Koh.The problem was i just couldn't say it out.I just can't admit it.Shy,nuts, or sheer stupidness, maybe fear of fearing rejected?I don't know.Choose one.

That feeling of guilt was killing me for that three days.I got nuts enough that i started to dedicate a poem to someone.I didn't show it yet!All those in school especially those close to me did see the difference.As for now i'm struggling with my life to maintain some sanity.

I've got my club work,school work,exams,class work and my crush to juggle about.I've have to admit it that this week i've almost gone nuts.Almost!

The feeling of guilt is still lingering inside me.Trap in a whirpool would be the word.Resolution would not be here for now so i will have to look for it.Another question is where and how?

Change

2008-10-05T02:13:00.000-07:00

Just got home from my friend's home.The dude is on a one month sem-break from MSU.So he called me up to his place to have a Raya feast.Quite full am i as i have gun down almost 4 plates of nasi briyani.Looking at most of my friends that i have met up throughout the Raya celebrations it seems many have change and moved on with their lives.When i meant change, it's really different than the time when we were studying together in La Salle or in tuition.

Time really changes a man.This year itself i have gone through many events that many have said that now i act and react differently unlike my secondary years.So that was what they say.I indeed believe time changes a person.To me,feel that i have a different character now than compared to the old days.Although some part of myself may not exactly change a lot but the change is noticeble in me.

So now i'm returning to school tommorow.Routine begins again.I'm back at hell and in heaven.I'm back again seeing someone.Reactions for the next following days could not be predicted accordingly as expected for the moment.But i'll patiently await for the day to arrive.As for now,i'm back where i started.

As The Knight Awaits

2008-10-04T01:10:00.000-07:00

As the knight awaits news the rain begin to shower from the sky and lands upon the roof of the chapel.So was the feeling i had within which sounded just like the sound of rain droplets landing on the roof.Pieces of me could be scattered into different continents like a shatered glass on the floor.Could i not think of anything other than this?

Signals through the mountains from Eriador to Annor show no promising signs.Then came a news through it that the heart may have well been taken away by another with higher grace.Like shatered glass was the feeling.Fate has deemed it so or was it fated to be challenged.Of either both i will never know.

I will ride to challenge into the west to reclaim the heart.As one i go but not return as a broken shield.The journey is winding and dark.Of i depart now i must.As the knight awaits the fateful reply from the heart.

Today

2008-10-03T03:15:00.000-07:00

Today.Very boring day like any other holiday.Not much things to do but i'm tired to the max.Just yesterday i was gate crashing here and there.Well maybe that's why i'm tired or chating until morning.God knows!My old friends from La Salle called me out today for futsal but i had to cancel the plan last minute cause i couldn't even wake up.

Whole night i was thinking of something and i could not get the "Smile" of my mind.This could be another reason i couldn't sleep.Many had noticed something and i have to admit they are very observant.Oh ya kawan-kawan reminder sikit,hang nak tolong boleh tapi jangan bercerita banyak tau!I'm not liking if it happens.As for her she doesn't seem to know anything.All the while i'm kind worried to get rejected.Would it happen?

Anyway today i study halfway and i couldn't concentrated anymore so it seems bloging was the solution for the moment.Anu what's going to happen soon?

Raya Kedua

2008-10-02T06:19:00.001-07:00

Kenyang betul perut aku ni.Dua rumah sudah aku gate crashing ni.Pertama rumah Si Ash kemudian Si Abdul pula.Nampak je lauk,ku terus makan tak henti-henti.Kang terasa nak meletup ba perutku.Sekurang-kurangnya hari ni ku dapat keluar lihat muka-muka member yang dah lama tak jumpa.Lepas ni entah bila boleh lagi berjumpa dengan mereka?

Lepas gate crashing kat rumah Si Ash tu ku terus ke rumah Si Abdul.Pijak je terus kat rumah dia terus aku dijemput untuk makan.Ha,lepas tu pula ayah Si Abdul pun mula berbual lama dengan aku.Ai memang lama kita orang berbual.Ayahnya tak henti-henti bagiku nasihat.Memang ba orang yang berpengalaman kan.Bagi kebanyakan orang,jika berbual dengan ayahnya mungkin terasa bosan.Tapi bagiku pula terasa macam aku diberi nasihat yang bagus.Anu,bapaku pun tak pernah bagiku nasihat.Namun,nasihatnya memang bagus bagiku ba yang sedang merana kat Form 6.

Konklusinya,Raya Kedua ini memang tak rugi.Sekurang-kurangnya dapat jumpa member,makan dan diberi nasihat.Macam mana pula dengan Raya Kedua korang?

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

2008-10-01T11:07:00.001-07:00

Telah berlalunya sudah sebulan,kini dah tiba pula bulan Syawal.Ai cepat sungguh masa berlalu ni!Esok ku akan keluar beraya dengan Si Ash kat rumahnya.Yang ikutku samaku pula Si Boey dengan Si Abdul.Tak boleh nak tunggu-tunggu la.Dah tak sabarla ku nak gate crash rumah Si Ash.Siapla dia esok!

Tadi baru aku pergi berjumpa dengan member-member kat tempat kerja lamaku tu.Tiba-tiba dia orang call samaku pergi Pastamania untuk makan.Tak sangka pula lepas ku resign masih boleh lagi contact dengan dia orang lagi.Akanku selalu kenang-kenangkan Makan Raya ni bersama dia orang.Memang bagusla orang-orangnya semua!Anu,hampir semua geng lama dah resign tinggal aja Si Josseim dengan Bang Li.Astaga,Si Ammar pula baru kena pecat.Adusla hai!

Entah ba tempat kerja lama aku tu!Management pula macam mangkuk,undercut semua orang.Patutla aku pun resign.Tapi teamwork kat sana tu memang mantap.Budak kitchen sama budak service boleh selalu backup sesama sendiri.Tak pernah kita orang terkangkang bila buat kerja.Susah nak jumpa keadaan sebegini kat tempat lain kan?

Walaubagaimanapun,ini time kita bercuti dan relak.Lebih baik lupakan hal-hal yang dah lalu ba.Bagi semua umat Islam di Malaysia ku mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya al-Mubarak,Maaf Zahir dan Batin.Bagi yang bukan Islam pula,terutamanya aku Selamat Gate Crash Member-member Muslim ko!Korang jangan buat apa-apa kecuali Beraya tau.Faham!

MMM

2008-09-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

MMmmm i just deleted something.Just to keep hearts unhurt.Anyway for everybody's info i'm my class's president.Believe it.Most of my friends won't.Seriously it is one of the lamest job on earth you will get in your life time.The following are a few dumb examples that a president must do:

1-Ucap Selamat to your teachers(Come on man we are grown up's you still think we are kids!!!)
2-Collect books and send to the staff room(They think i'm a kuli)
3-Layan kerenah setiap orang since you stand between the teachers and your members
4-Jaga duster and marker
5-Buat class sales

The list goes on and on.The crap part is, i hate everypart of my job function.The teachers think that you are some kuli.You have to do everyone's work.When someone asks who is responsible.First person to kena is me.

But since i'm the class president,i have to fulfill my duties no matter how i hate it.Everyone have given you the trust thus you must work to the end.Always see that all your duties are complete and at the tip top conditions.One thing i learned from being a company leader and special unit chief is learned to bare with your crap and swallow it down.

It happened before during my secondary school days,when my class split into many factions.This is a cancer that could split my class into pieces.That kind berpuak-puak mentality is very dangerous.It's a total cancer.Well i will never let it happen now.If it were to happen then the person has to cross my dead body first.

Another thing as a class president,i'm very lazy to layan anybody's kerenah.I like to give everyone ample freedom provided they don't get into trouble.If you want to go somewhere just go,if you want to do it then do it.That's simple right!Temper of mine very short fuse so far, to most this is a warning. Don't ask me stupid questions unless you are thinking of getting screwed teruk-teruk.Sometimes others see me as a jerk.What i care!I've got a heart of stone susah nak chill.

If anyone us gets into trouble.All must lend a hand.I'm ready to take the bullet but for the valid reasons.If someone is there to punk with us i'm ready for him.

As for now.I'm here to do my job well and go back home.Got no time to entertain anyone.

Support

2008-09-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

I believe the best in all my friends.Everyone in the class or i would say my buddies in the class although they may look at me like some sohai fellow who sesat from some hole in Mars.They have something special in them,they are capable of doing something.It takes time to show it.Everyone tend to do mistakes.That's part of nature.I hope they see it and understand the mistakes that they have done.Hasharan has the capability to speak,while Jivi has the brains,Alexis has her cute face and the rest also has something big to contribute.The list goes on and on.I salute all of them.

I just browsed through Alexis's blog.She mentioned something about the Maths teacher of mine and i have to admit he is a real pain in the ass.I support her and i don't believe she was talking behind anyone's back.She was telling nothing but the truth.Alexis i support you!!!!Don't be sad be happy.Happy holidays everyone!!Smile.

Waranty

2008-09-28T00:41:00.000-07:00

All events that occur are true and the characters are real.Some people's names or places's names may have their name replaced with other names to protect their indendity.No stories had been made up.I really had been through all these events.

Last Night Or Last Morning

2008-09-28T00:22:00.000-07:00

Gone out with my friends yesterday to buka puasa.After chatting for quite a while,we decided to go home.So i dropped Abdul back at home,while on the way home me and Shahril decided we should go lepak with his mat rempit gang.Mat Rempit you may think that they are bunch of people with problem but they are infact quite nice guys.They accepted me into the group.In the group i am known as Ah Pek Ori to all while Shahril everyone called him Keling.

Last night,while all of us were smoking,one of the dude took a ciggarete to puff.Little that he knew that the ciggarete was stuffed with a fire cracker.So the idiot lighted that ciggarete up and it blew at his face.You guys should have seen that dude's reaction.

After midnight,we decided to go to Danau in Gombak.They wanted to buy some things for Hari Raya.The place that we were heading was something like Klang's Bundle.Only this Bundle is very big and it opens everyday.By the time we finished we decided to head for KL for a spin.After we pusing-pusing,we headed to Shah Alam to makan.God was i tired,looking at my watch i noticed it was already 4am.

On the way back,the idiots decided to race at the Federal Highway.One Wira,one Saga and an Innova racing down the Federal Highway.Thank god there was no roadblock or else all of us will be in the Balai today.For your information,some of the mangkuk's punya lesen sudah mati.

Got back home at five plus but i wasn't even sure that was the time i reached since i was so damn tired.Just woke up a while ago and i'm going to see someone's sour face.You know what i mean.

Unfinish

2008-09-27T02:57:00.000-07:00

This week me and my group got thrown out of the class for not finishing our assignment.Funny part was that we could still laugh when we were thrown out.My teacher for sure banyak senang sakit hati for a small matter like this.She said that by not doing her work it was like not appreciating her work.Of course we do and it is just our first mistake.Had she realised it?For us who gives a dime about her.Life goes on as usual.One thing for sure teachers will always treat us like kids and they we never look at us as equals.They would always expect respect to given not earned.Well too bad for them,they have got to earned mine.

Aduhnya Sakit

2008-09-21T04:39:00.000-07:00

Sakitnya ada dua.Satunya sakit hati.Demam rindu seseoranglah agaknya penyakit yangku dapat.Hari-hari ku tengok muka dia.Terasa nak confess perasaanku namun ku tak tahu macam mana lepaskan perasaanku.Sudah beberapa kali ku flirt dengan dia tapi dia masih tak perasaan yang si bengong ni iaitu aku ada ITU FEELING samanya.Ai AI apa sudah jadi!!!!!!!Tolong ba bagiku kekuatan untuk meluahkan perasaanku.

Sekarang sakit kedua pula,abang longku tu memang buat ku nak sepak kepala otak hang dia.Baru-baru ni,ku baru je repair komputerku ba.Anu,dia pun kata samaku pergi ke kliniknya untuk dapatkan satu broadband modem darinya.Lepas ku dah siap pasang,ku pun enjoyla surfing internet.Astaga siapa tahu pula,hari ni dia kata samaku untuk pulangkan modemnya.Ingatkan dia nak bagi?Lebih-lebihla ku bikin blog ni,download ni download tu.Sekarang pula nak bagi dia balik!!

Aduh sakitnya aku!Tolong Doktor bagi Ubat Tahan Sakit!

Apa Mau Buat

2008-09-21T01:34:00.001-07:00

Thought of studying today but study half way always get distracted.The best part was studying my pengajian am.Due to the tons ministries Malaysia has,I've got kind fed up reading all of it.So I've decided that during the test i'd just go use my common sense if I have any during that time.Gosh I better go get myself some revision books or else.Al Fatiha six feet under!!!Finals is coming soon.Just starting to warm my engine up.Blasting full capacity by this week.How are most us Form Sixes doing out there?Well we can keep on guessing!God and them only know.

What I've Been Through to Become This.

2008-09-20T05:15:00.000-07:00

I was born somewhere or a place that i which i was not born.I hope it didn't be that way but my mom sacrificed a lot to take me out of that place.While growing up,I didn't receive any love from my dad.Thus now I've no feeling towards him.Many kids would feel rejcted but I felt that as a blessing.Since my mom was so busy handling our household problems and my dad especially.I had to grow up on own and learn to fend for myself.You could say that who I am today resulted from my upbringing.

Sometimes I've been through so many up and downs in my life until i feel like taking my life or simply run away from reality.I told myself still that if i do so than I'm good for nothing.I want to show that old man and my family members that i could swallow all my problems without their help.Thus it has always been my dream to join the navy.I hope to show them that i'm at least i can make something out of myself.Although I maybe a sohai bastard but to those who really no me they know what I'm going to do.Do you think that I'd look smart in Navy uniform?